Friday, November 5, 2010

Future... What?! I'm only 15!

"What do you want to be when you're older?"

Since I was, what.... five? I've had that question asked every year.

At first it was one of those... obvious ones a little girl would say: Princess, fairy, movie star.
The Impossible for me.
Then I wanted to be a Nurse, Vet, or Brain Surgeon (Yeah.. didn't happen).

Then, embarrassingly enough, after I saw High School Musical (Dun Dun Dun~) in 5th Grade, it hit me. Do you know what that feels like? AnEpiphany (Is that right? My English skills are... low)? After I saw it, it was like a ton of brick had just fallen on my head, as corny as it sounds.

I wanted to be a singer. I didn't know where, I didn't know how.

So I tried Broadway first, musicals and shows. You know, acting and singing? After one show, I figured out I didn't like it. The singing was fun, but acting... I couldn't get the lines right, I talked to fast, I couldn't cry on cue! The first show I did was at the ****air Theatre. I'm not to sure it I can state it. I was a dancer. The thespians (?) who were playing the main roles... god damn... I wanted to push them off the stage. They were rude and very mean and demeaning to everyone who had a smaller part than them. I thought 'If everyone is like this... I can't do this,'

In 9th grade, I joined the chorus. Singing + Class = Easy A and fun!... Daeng! It was horrible. The songs we sang... I still get shivers. Everyone marking period we had assessments. My choir teacher told me, "You're voice is unique. But, it's not suited for a Choir," So I stopped. Unique? Does that mean bad, or good? I was confused and I refused to sing during choir, I lip synced. I'm a professional now.

My friend (We're still in 9th grade here. Don't get ahead of your self here), Keri (Love you!<3) introduced me to a Korean Girl Group called, 'So Nyuh Shi Dae' (I don't have a Korean key board at the moment) or 'Girls' Generation'. I fell in love with Korea and Korean.

STOP!
Let it be noted here, I was adopted from Korea. I haven't been there in a long~~~~ time. My Korean name is HyeRim, Lee HyeRim. My American name, given to me by my adoptive parents (whom I love very~~ much) is Chelsea Rose (Or Rosebud if your my brother).

Anyways, I started looking up more Korean groups, and looking up about Asia and Korea. Man, I was hooked! I spent the second half of the school year, all Korean all the time. Then I totally fell over from getting hit by the bricks again.

I wanted to be a singer... In Korea. I wanted to be in a group with others who had the same passions and me and, hopefully, succeed together!

It was a blessing, I tell you. 

YG. Yeah? YG Entertainment? They had auditions last year. In New York! Close enough for my dad to allow me to go! I auditioned. I waited. And waited. And waited. And then the opportunity passed. I didn't except to see an email from YG. I didn't except anything. 

I gave up. I was down for about a month, crying at night because I couldn't see myself doing anything else. I still relapse into that at times. Then my friend Jessica Hong and I got back into contact by facebook. She had the same dream as I did. We talked and talked and talked. She gave me other companies, audition information. 

I have some lined up now, online applications. 
1. CUBE
2. SM Ent.
3. DSP
4. TS Ent.
5. Sidus HQ

My "friends". The people I talked to during school. Only four didn't laugh in my face when ever I was asked about what I wanted to be, or ranted on about Korea and the music industry. In English, we had to write a personal narrative. I wrote about what I wanted to be when I grew up. 

"When I grow up..." 
A 1st Person Narrative

"If someone asks me what I want to be when I grow up, I'll want to reply a singer. A singer in Korea, with a group whom all share the same passion as me.

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

I'll reply, 'When I grow up, I'll be doing what I love and being happy. I don't know where or how. But, thats what I'll be doing.'"

That, is what I really do tell people. 

Honestly, I don't think the Korea Music scene will happen. But, I can't find anything I love as much as it. So I'm working hard towards it.

My future is hazy. I don't know if I'll be someone on the streets, someone living the opulent life, or just a regular person. But, I know my future is what I make it and no one can take it from me^^.

Sorry. I ranted. I'm mad at my friend and teacher who both said that "That's impossible," to me when I told them seriously what I wanted to be.